It’s not always easy to trust God, because sometimes, He changes things. And often, His changes aren’t what you had in mind.
Friday morning, my eight year old son woke up sick. You could see it in his eyes, but the sore throat and throwing up were also enormous clues that, even as a dad, I couldn’t miss. We tested him for COVID, and it came back positive. All that we had planned for the day and for the next week were totally wiped away: no going to school for a week. No preaching on Sunday. No church retreat for my wife and me. No basketball playoffs for Sarah. No band practice for Hannah or tennis practice for Aby. No visit from grandparents. With a single test, so many things that we were anticipating with excitement were removed. Disappointment was like a heavy fog in our house.
Writing a day later, I can see God’s preparation for us. We had prayed at the beginning of the year for God’s will to be done, even if that meant changes. Many families in our church had been having positive COVID tests, and so we had tasted of their experiences – and knew it was probably going to happen to us. The past Wednesday was filled with trials and challenges, as we discovered a water leak, a bathroom sink stopped working, a kitchen light went out, and car headlights needed to be replaced.
It’s a scary thing to pray to God, “Let Your will be done.” For sure, it is a good thing to pray this, because God is good and always does what is good. But, that submissive prayer of trust requires that all of your plans and desires are held with open hands, not tightly clenched. His ways and thoughts are not only different than our own, they are much, much better.
For me personally, one of the hardest disappointments was not preaching Sunday. I had been preparing for months to start this study in Galatians. I had a fire in my bones, as it were, to invite our church into a study of this letter, and uncover some exciting treasures of grace and freedom in Christ. When I woke up Friday, everything for preaching Sunday was as in place as it could possibly be. And then God revealed He had a different plan for this Sunday – that didn’t involve Galatians and didn’t involve me.
I have a prayer time with two other pastors scheduled on Friday mornings. We had been meeting for prayer through Zoom for close to 3 years. So less than an hour after getting the test results and the fog of disappointment, I was praying with good friends. God’s work hasn’t stopped with a COVID test, or with any type of sickness. I am not the only man in our church family who can share God’s Word. As we were praying, God pointed out that there was someone else in our church who was already prepared with a lesson. Sure, we thought Tom was going to teach on that Friday night. But, the Friday night was going to be canceled, so moving that to Sunday morning was not inconceivable. Is this what God wanted? Would Tom be willing and sense God’s leading?
I am still disappointed not to be with my church family Sunday morning. But not because I want to preach. I want to hear in person what God has arranged. I want to sense the mood of our church family – excited? disappointed? encouraged? – both before and after the service. Would we see and hear the service through the lens of faith, trusting that God has directed these circumstances in this fashion because He has both good for us this Sunday and further down the road? A good that would never be enjoyed if I was preaching from Galatians as planned?
Yes, I do want God’s will to be done. This challenges me, but that challenge is for my good and spiritual growth – as well as for others. I don’t know what this COVID week will be like, but I don’t want to waste it. It would be easy to take the coming days based on what I feel like doing, or what I want to do. I mean, I could sleep in, stay up late, and never change out of my pjs – who would know? God would. I must obey and honor Him, no matter what path He sets before us. His will is always good. Different, yes, but good. So, let God’s will be done!