To Make Disciples, You Must Be Forgiven and Forgiving

Most of the time, when I hear people talking about forgiveness, it’s in this phrase, “I need to learn to forgive myself.”  I think that is expressing something real, but not in the most accurate way. For example, the Bible nowhere mentions, suggests, or hints to a need to forgive your own self. Always, the Bible points us to seeking forgiveness from God and others; and granting forgiveness to others.

There’s a significant danger to focusing on ‘I need to forgive myself.’ Because whether intended or not, it diminishes, if not removes God’s forgiveness. The most powerful forgiveness in the world isn’t you of yourself; it’s God of your sin.

Forgiving others is hard to us, because it’s an act of trust. If a person has sinned against us multiple times, we really don’t have much trust in the person. But the forgiveness in others isn’t an act of trust in them to improve; no, it’s an act of trust in your God.

#1 As God’s forgiveness of you is unlimited, so should your forgiveness of others be (v. 21-22)

As Jesus had just been talking about forgiving and restoring someone who sin, Peter asks a very practical question: how often shall this sin be repeated and my forgiveness be repeated? Peter had a brother Andrew standing nearby, and perhaps there was some real world experience behind Peter’s question. Peter suggests seven times as the limit. We don’t know why Peter picked the number seven. Did he expect that we should keep a journal of sorts to help keep track if we are on forgiveness #5 or #6 or #7? Like a basketball scorekeeper who keeps track of each players fouls; five fouls and you’re out of the game!

Jesus’ answer is expansive: not just seven times, but seventy times seven. In other words, don’t bother to keep track. Love keeps no records of wrong-doing (see 1 Corinthians 13:5).  But Jesus doesn’t stop there with His answer. He understands Peter, you and me; He knows very well that forgiveness doesn’t come easily. So to help us out, Jesus tells us a story; a parable that has one specific point.

#2 Remember how much God has forgiven you (v. 23-27)

A king (or he’s also called a lord) is settling the accounts of his slaves. In Jesus’ time, slaves were not racially inferior or sub-human. Many slaves were able to gain education and wealth, but the key for this parable is that each slave is under the authority of the king. A slave is found who has an impossible debt to pay. A talent was a coin roughly equal to 20 years of work. This slave owed 10,000 talents, or 200,000 years of work. No way this slave could ever repay it!

When the king decides to throw this slave and his family and possessions into jail, the slave pleads for mercy. He asks for patience to repay the debt, even though it is impossible. The lord has compassion on his slave, and not only releases him from prison, but releases him from debt.

If that was me, I would be feeling such a joy and freedom. That incredible debt is gone!

#3 As I have been forgiven, I should forgive others (v. 28-35)

While we would expect this first slave to be joyous, that’s not what he’s like. Instead, he goes in search of a slave who owes him some money: 100 denarii. If a talent was a coin for 20 years of work, a denarii was a coin for one day of work. This second slaves owes 100 days worth of work, which is just over 3 months; this is a realistic debt to pay off.

The second slave repeats the plea for patience; Jesus has the words of the second slave be word for word exact to the first slave. The stage is now set for the first slave to feel compassion and forgive.

But this first slave does not! He is unwilling to be compassionate, patience, and forgiven. And so the second slave is hauled into prison.

The story might have ended there, but word gets back to the king. This is a huge injustice, and so the first slave makes his appearance before the king. Jesus gives no indication if this first slave is aware of his fault in this situation. Instead, we focus on the judgment of the king. He is described as wicked; to not forgive is, in Jesus’ eyes, wicked! And whereas the lord was earlier moved with compassion to forgive, now he is moved with anger to be just. The first slave is not just thrown into prison, but even worse, to the torturers.

And then Jesus brings us to the whole point of the story in verse 35; this is where we must listen to Him! God the Father will respond with the just judgment of the king if “each of you does not forgive his brother from the heart.” Jesus doesn’t end with a promise or a blessing; He ends with a warning. Failing to forgive is a serious offense, because it diminishes the incredible forgiveness of God for you.

Your sin before a holy God is an immense debt that can never be repaid. On your own, you are destined for an eternal judgment of God’s wrath; it’s what you deserve for your sin. But God sends His own Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the debt of your sin. All of your sin goes to Jesus, and He takes your punishment and penalty in your place. God also has all of Jesus’ righteousness go to you who believe in Him (see 2 Corinthians 5:21). By faith in Jesus, the Son of God, you are debt-free, sin-free, and given eternal life to life as God would have you to life. Such a profound and amazing gift of salvation is to be life-changing. You are to forgive others as you have been forgiven.

Discussion Questions:

  • Why can forgiving someone or asking someone for forgiveness be hard to do?
  • What is something that helps you understand how much God has forgiven you?
  • In the story, do you think of yourself more as the first slave or the second slave? Why?
  • Why do we need to forgive from the heart and not just forgive with our words?